you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
