Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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