GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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