He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
