Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
