my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
