When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize