Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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