probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
