I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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