i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
