Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
