So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
