The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
