i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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