party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
