I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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