Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Alive.
So much puke
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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