I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
