I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
