he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
