nut hugger
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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