Yo dont text me then not text me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it glows. i had to have it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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