turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
