I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
