is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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