tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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