Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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