When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
