So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize