Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
