even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
