Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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