I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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