with your own penis?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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