You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
