I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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