It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
