I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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