turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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