my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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