Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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