I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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