I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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