feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
