her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
