Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
