They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize