and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it penis luge time yet?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My dick has a subreddit
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
