this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Please don't give away my fajitas
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
