Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
