its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
