I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
