guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
