new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
