He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
