this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just blew my weed a kiss
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
