remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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