i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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