you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
