did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
